it's all a lot

arrrgghhhh.

1: i've been breaking out for a bit and it sucks. i'm not sure what's been causing it. could be a product, could be stress, could be a few things. weirdly, the way my skin is currently reminds me most of how it was in my teens, like before getting into skincare to begin with...
2: also not sure why, but i've been getting weird abdominal pains. absolutely ignoring that until it gets me hospitalised, though.
3: money stress is getting to me. i heard back on thursday that i didn't get the job i wanted because the org had their budget cut (it's just that time of year) and they couldn't take me on, even though they want to! they have kept my info, and hope to offer me something 'in the next few months' so we'll just have to see. i have a different interview next week.

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last night my bf and i went to a punk show raising money for mental health charities. we were some of the youngest people there (especially at first), which was a funny feeling (not unpleasant, though. it was nice to see a whole bunch of people who have clearly kept the 'alt' aesthetic of their youth into their 40s). it's always fun just being able to dance around with strangers.

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ah, also, i've been thinking about dni lists. it's especially weird seeing them on personal websites, but neocities is kind of a social media so i guess it as much makes sense as any sns. regardless, people wanting and expecting only certain people to click like on their posts seems completely futile to me.

it was actually my boyfriend who suggested that it was mainly people who'd spent their entire lives Being Seen/feeling it *necessary* to share everything that they do on sns, so their dni is a way to reclaim privacy in a small way. seeing it that way makes sense, but also pretty sad.

personally, i will never have a dni on sns because then i'd be under a sort of obligation to enforce it, and who actually has the time to do that? if i make a tumblr post which gets 100 reblogs, do i have to look at each one to make sure none of them like a bad tv show or are attracted to me in a way i don't like? what about if i got 1,000 reblogs? god damn. i have better things to do

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ok, i gotta go make some bread for dinner now :-)

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